Now that you know your number 1 goal (see the post from last week), the next step is to create a strong and clear strategy, a roadmap towards your goal.
However an action plan on its own won’t do wonders. It needs to be founded on strong solid self-belief and confidence. If you don’t believe in achieving your goal, you will not follow up with the action steps and even if you do, they will be half-hearted ones and won’t bring the desired result. Even the best strategies fall victim to inner blocks such as fears and and limiting beliefs.
Fears stop most of humankind from achieving their biggest dreams. The dreams stay dreams and never become projects, let alone reality.
We all have fears (of failure, of rejection, of judgement, of success etc). And we all have limiting beliefs. You will start seeing positive changes in your life as soon as you open up to identifying your limiting beliefs and fears and start challenging them.
“I am old. I will never accomplish what I want,” said my client, with bitterness and anger in his voice.
By then we had tried various coaching techniques which worked wonders with my other clients but were not working with this client.
“Let’s use Byron Katie’s 4 questions method,” I suggested. “First question: Is it a fact that you will never accomplish what you want? Is it really true?”
“No, I don’t know it for a fact but I assume so,” was the answer after a pause.
“Ok. Second question: do you absolutely know it to be true?”
There was silence on the other end of Skype. Then:
“I guess not.”
I continued:
“Third question: How does believing the above statement (that you will never accomplish what you want) makes you feel and react?”
“Depressed. Hopeless. Helpless,” he offered in a gloomy quiet voice.
“Yes. And how do you react? I bet you don’t want to even try. You just want to go out and get drunk.”
“Yes” he replied even more quietly.
“Fourth question: Who would you be if you did not have that thought?”
“Oh…” the client paused and then said with higher energy in the voice:
“I’d feel more self-confident. I’d feel freer. I’d act with less hesitation.”
Bingo! This is what a self-limiting belief – which is just a thought in reality – does to us. It lowers our self-confidence, suppresses enthusiasm and kills joy. It stops us from positive action. It depresses us. By doing all that, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy – by not believing in what we want and not moving towards our goals, we validate our fears and negative beliefs about ourselves.
Assumptions – or negative assumptions – are among the biggest inner blocks that stop us from succeeding, from achieving what we want.
Having helped dozens of women and men (and myself!) to discard inner barriers, I find it reassuring to know that most of them are just small self-limiting thoughts that can be turned around and replaced with more empowering ones.
What limiting thoughts are blocking the way to your big goal?