When I asked the participants of my workshop last week about their goals for 2022, every single one of them had a big ambition.
When I asked them what could prevent them from achieving it, most women replied “lack of confidence” or “fear of failure.”
What about you? What is likely to hold you back from reaching your big goals this year?
From my experience of coaching hundreds of women over the years…
Fears and self-doubt is number 1 reason why most people don’t reach their goals .
I want to talk to you about fears today.
Here’s the thing.
Most people act out of their fears, decide from their fears, and think that their fears are real.
They don’t even recognize that what they are feeling is a fear, and forget about questioning their fears in the defining moment.
Do you recognise someone?
For instance, the fears that keep you stuck in a boring or dead-end job are fear of failure, fear of taking a risk, fear of things not working out, fear of making a new decision, fear of change, fear of uncertainty.
The fear that keeps you from communicating confidently in meetings, and building a strong personal brand and thought leadership online is the fear of judgement.
Then there are money-related fears such as “I can’t afford it” fear, fear of diving into a new program that could potentially be life changing, fear of investing in your own development and growth for the first time, fear of commitment …
All these fears define, direct and rule the lives of 95% of the population.
And —
When you make decisions from your fears, you make mediocre — or even poor –decisions in your life and career.
In order to be among the 5% of the people that reach their big goals, make real impact, and are guided by their dreams, visions and desires, you need to –
Step 1) Understand that fear is just an emotion, created by a certain thought. It has no defining power over your life, unless you give it that power. In the coaching language, we call fear “False Evidence Appearing Real.”
Step 2) Manage your fear: recognize when it shows up as the tightening in your stomach, as anxiety. Feel the fear in your body, breathe into it, and repeat softly “Afraid, afraid, afraid” – until you notice that its intensity has gone down.
Step 3) Remind yourself that the job of fear is to keep you safe and comfortable, not help you grow or fly or experience greatness / recognition / joy / career satisfaction in life.
Step 4) Ask yourself “What’s the worst that can happen?” and imagine the worst scenario. It is usually not as bad as your fear made you believe.
Step 5) Acknowledge your fear but don’t let it define your decision. Feel your fears and still go do exactly that thing that feels inspiring but also scares you at the same time.
Over time, you are going to get very good at recognizing your fears and they won’t drive the big decisions in your life anymore.
Managing your fears is a learnt skill but it’s the skill that will bring you unlimited rewards in life when you practice it with intention and courage and in all moments that truly matter — just like I do, and dozens of my former clients.
Be brave, not perfect, and act despite your fears this year, my friend.